You know you're in Italy when....

You know you're in Italy when...

• You're at the petrol station there are at least two men standing around with cigarettes in their mouths despite the no smoking signs

• You witness unnatural levels of tanning in most of the population, even nonnas in hot orange dresses (I know I've already written about this but I'm a bit obsessed)...how good are the orange dress lady's legs!????

• You start to get desensitized to bright pants on middle aged men and start finding it really attractive, especially different shades of peach and pale pink together with loafers and no socks, hmmmmm

• Gelato becomes a standard part of any trip to any place with children

• It seems a normal dinner conversation for a man to start talking to the waitress about how he always wanted her for his mistress...in front of his wife! (no Heslops were involved in this conversation)

• Men expect you to cook and clean up after them (my husband is not included in this generalization thank goodness!)

• You need to wear a swimming cap to a water park for hygiene reasons, and are forbidden entry unless you do, meanwhile people are smoking around the pool....

• Kids go to bed at 10pm and SLEEP IN, bless!!!

• You start getting very used to the 0.80euro croissant for breakfast each morning

• Roads are so bad that an honest morning's bike ride leaves the seasoned rider frazzled and a shadow of his former self

• You become another pink folder at the questura and thank your lucky stars you were born in Australia rather than Africa so the police treat you nicely.